9 Things That Can Destroy a Marriage

Marriage often envisioned as a sacred bond woven with love and commitment, can face numerous trials along its journey. While the initial euphoria of the union can be blissful, the reality is that sustaining a healthy and thriving marriage demands continuous attention and effort. In this exploration, we delve into nine common pitfalls that can erode the foundation of even the most steadfast marriages. From communication breakdowns to financial strains, from emotional neglect to external pressures, each challenge poses a unique threat to the harmony and longevity of the marital relationship. However, armed with awareness and proactive strategies, couples can navigate these obstacles, fortifying their bond and ensuring a resilient partnership that endures the trials of time. Join us as we uncover these challenges and provide insights on how to navigate them, fostering a stronger, more fulfilling marriage along the way.

Lack of Communication

Effective communication is the backbone of any relationship. When couples stop talking to each other about their feelings, concerns, and daily experiences, they start to drift apart. Misunderstandings become frequent, and unresolved issues can fester. To maintain a strong connection, it’s essential to keep the lines of communication open, honest, and respectful. Here’s a closer look at how lack of communication can affect marriage and what you can do to foster better communication:

The Consequences of Poor Communication

  • Emotional Distance: When communication breaks down, partners may feel disconnected from one another. They might start to lead parallel lives, sharing a home but not their inner worlds. This emotional distance can lead to loneliness and a feeling of being misunderstood or unappreciated.


  • Increased Conflict: Without effective communication, minor misunderstandings can escalate into major arguments. Partners may misinterpret each other’s words and actions, leading to frustration and resentment. This can create a cycle of conflict where issues are never truly resolved.


  • Erosion of Trust: Communication is crucial for building and maintaining trust. When partners don’t communicate openly, it can lead to suspicion and doubts. Over time, this lack of transparency can erode the trust that forms the foundation of a healthy relationship.


  • Unmet Needs: Everyone has emotional and physical needs in a relationship. Without communication, these needs may go unmet. Partners might feel neglected or unimportant, which can lead to dissatisfaction and discontentment.

Strategies for Improving Communication

  • Active Listening: Active listening involves fully concentrating, understanding, responding, and remembering what is being said. Show your partner that you value their thoughts and feelings by listening without interrupting and reflecting back what you hear.


  • Regular Check-ins: Schedule regular times to talk about your relationship, your feelings, and any issues that may have arisen. This can prevent small problems from turning into big ones and ensures that both partners feel heard and understood.


  • Expressing Feelings: Be open and honest about your emotions. Use “I” statements to express how you feel without blaming or criticizing your partner (e.g., “I feel upset when…” instead of “You always…”).


  • Nonverbal Communication: Remember that communication isn’t just about words. Nonverbal cues such as eye contact, body language, and facial expressions play a significant role in how messages are received and interpreted. Be mindful of these cues and ensure they align with your words.


  • Conflict Resolution Skills: Learn and practice conflict resolution skills. This includes staying calm during disagreements, avoiding accusatory language, and focusing on finding solutions rather than winning arguments. Consider techniques such as time-outs if discussions become too heated.


  • Quality Time Together: Spend quality time together without distractions. This can help you reconnect and foster a deeper understanding of each other’s perspectives. Whether it’s a date night, a walk, or simply talking over a meal, making time for each other is crucial.


  • Seek Professional Help: If communication issues persist, consider seeking help from a therapist or counselor. A professional can provide tools and strategies to improve communication and help resolve underlying issues.



Infidelity is one of the most common and devastating issues that can destroy a marriage. Trust, once broken, is challenging to rebuild. Whether it’s an emotional affair or a physical one, the betrayal can leave deep scars. Understanding the impact of infidelity and how to address it is crucial for the health of any marriage.

Types of Infidelity

  • Emotional Affairs: Emotional infidelity occurs when one partner forms a deep emotional connection with someone outside the marriage. This often involves sharing intimate thoughts and feelings, which can lead to emotional intimacy that rivals or surpasses the bond within the marriage. Emotional affairs can be just as damaging as physical ones because they undermine the emotional connection between spouses.


  • Physical Affairs: Physical infidelity involves sexual activity with someone outside the marriage. This type of affair can deeply hurt the betrayed spouse, leading to feelings of inadequacy, rejection, and anger. The physical act of betrayal can be seen as a significant violation of marital vows.


  • Online Affairs: In the digital age, online affairs have become more prevalent. These involve intimate or sexual exchanges through social media, dating apps, or other online platforms. While they may not involve physical contact, the emotional and sexual nature of these interactions can be just as harmful.


Consequences of Infidelity

  • Loss of Trust: Trust is the foundation of a healthy marriage. Infidelity shatters this trust, making it difficult for the betrayed spouse to feel secure and confident in the relationship. Rebuilding trust takes time, effort, and consistent honesty from the offending partner.


  • Emotional Trauma: The betrayed partner often experiences a range of intense emotions, including anger, sadness, confusion, and betrayal. This emotional trauma can lead to depression, anxiety, and a loss of self-esteem. The offending partner may also feel guilt, shame, and fear of losing the relationship.


  • Impact on Intimacy: Infidelity can severely impact both emotional and physical intimacy. The betrayed spouse may withdraw emotionally and sexually, leading to further distance between partners. Re-establishing intimacy requires patience, understanding, and a willingness to rebuild the emotional connection.


  • Family Strain: If children are involved, infidelity can strain the entire family dynamic. Children may sense the tension and conflict, which can affect their emotional well-being. It’s important for parents to address the situation with care and, if necessary, seek professional help to support the family through the crisis.

Addressing Infidelity

  • Open and Honest Communication: The first step in addressing infidelity is to have open and honest communication. The offending partner must take responsibility for their actions and be transparent about the details of the affair. The betrayed spouse needs to express their feelings and ask questions to understand what happened.


  • Seek Professional Help: Couples counseling can be invaluable in dealing with the aftermath of infidelity. A professional therapist can help both partners navigate their emotions, rebuild trust, and develop strategies to move forward. Individual therapy may also be beneficial for addressing personal issues related to the affair.


  • Set Boundaries and Rebuild Trust: Rebuilding trust requires setting clear boundaries and adhering to them consistently. This might include limiting contact with the person involved in the affair, being transparent about activities and whereabouts, and committing to open communication. Trust can be rebuilt over time through consistent, trustworthy behavior.


  • Focus on Reconnection: Rebuilding a marriage after infidelity involves reconnecting on an emotional and physical level. Couples should invest time in activities that strengthen their bond, such as date nights, shared hobbies, and intimate conversations. Rekindling the romance and rediscovering each other can help heal the wounds caused by infidelity.


  • Be Patient and Compassionate: Healing from infidelity takes time. Both partners need to be patient with the process and compassionate towards each other. The betrayed spouse needs time to process their emotions, while the offending partner needs to demonstrate ongoing commitment to making amends and rebuilding the relationship.


Financial Problems

Money issues can lead to significant stress and conflict in a marriage. Differences in spending habits, debt, and financial goals can create tension and resentment between partners. Understanding how financial problems affect relationships and how to manage them is crucial for maintaining a healthy and harmonious marriage.

Causes of Financial Problems

  • Differences in Spending Habits: Partners often have different attitudes toward money. One might be a saver while the other is a spender. These differing habits can lead to disagreements over purchases, savings, and budgeting, creating a constant source of conflict.


  • Debt: Whether it’s credit card debt, student loans, or other financial obligations, debt can be a heavy burden on a marriage. The stress of managing and paying off debt can lead to arguments and a sense of financial insecurity.


  • Income Disparities: Differences in income levels between partners can create power imbalances and feelings of resentment or inadequacy. The partner earning less may feel undervalued, while the higher earner might feel unfairly burdened.


  • Unplanned Expenses: Unexpected expenses, such as medical bills, car repairs, or home maintenance, can strain a couple’s finances. Without a financial cushion, these surprises can lead to panic and blame-shifting.
  • Financial Secrets: Hiding financial information, such as secret bank accounts, undisclosed debts, or hidden purchases, can erode trust. Financial infidelity can be as damaging as any other type of betrayal.

Consequences of Financial Problems

  • Stress and Anxiety: Constant financial strain can lead to chronic stress and anxiety for both partners. This stress can affect other areas of life, including work performance and overall well-being.


  • Reduced Quality of Life: Financial problems can limit a couple’s ability to enjoy life’s pleasures, such as vacations, dining out, or pursuing hobbies. This reduction in quality of life can lead to frustration and unhappiness.


  • Communication Breakdown: Money issues often lead to heated arguments and poor communication. Partners may avoid discussing finances altogether to prevent conflict, leading to unresolved issues and growing resentment.


  • Relationship Strain: Persistent financial problems can strain the emotional connection between partners. The constant worry and arguments can create distance and reduce intimacy, potentially leading to a breakdown in the relationship.

Strategies for Managing Financial Problems

  • Open Communication: The foundation of managing financial problems is open and honest communication. Partners should regularly discuss their financial situation, including income, expenses, debts, and savings. Transparency helps build trust and ensures both partners are on the same page.


  • Create a Budget: Developing a budget together can help manage finances more effectively. A budget outlines income, necessary expenses, and discretionary spending, helping to control overspending and ensure savings goals are met. Regularly review and adjust the budget as needed.


  • Set Financial Goals: Establish short-term and long-term financial goals together. Whether it’s saving for a home, paying off debt, or building an emergency fund, having shared goals can align partners and provide motivation to stick to the plan.


  • Seek Professional Advice: If financial problems are overwhelming, consider seeking advice from a financial advisor or counselor. A professional can help create a realistic financial plan, offer strategies for managing debt, and provide objective guidance.


  • Deal with Debt: Develop a clear plan to tackle debt. This might involve consolidating debts, negotiating with creditors, or creating a repayment schedule. Focus on paying off high-interest debts first while making consistent payments on others.


  • Practice Compromise: Financial harmony often requires compromise. Both partners should be willing to make adjustments to their spending and saving habits. Finding a middle ground that respects both partners’ financial philosophies is key.


  • Emergency Fund: Building an emergency fund can provide a financial safety net for unexpected expenses. Aim to save three to six months’ worth of living expenses in a readily accessible account. This cushion can prevent panic and conflict when surprises arise.


  • Avoid Financial Secrets: Be transparent about all financial matters. Hiding information or making secret purchases can destroy trust. Make financial decisions together to ensure both partners feel involved and respected.


Lack of Intimacy

Physical and emotional intimacy is crucial for a healthy marriage. When intimacy dwindles, partners may feel neglected, unloved, or disconnected. This can lead to further emotional distance and dissatisfaction. Understanding the importance of intimacy and how to maintain it is essential for nurturing a strong and fulfilling marital relationship.

Types of Intimacy

  • Physical Intimacy: This includes sexual activity, as well as other forms of physical affection such as hugging, kissing, and holding hands. Physical intimacy helps reinforce the emotional bond between partners and provides a sense of closeness and security.


  • Emotional Intimacy: Emotional intimacy involves sharing feelings, thoughts, and experiences with your partner. It is about being vulnerable and open, allowing your partner to understand your inner world. Emotional intimacy fosters trust, empathy, and a deep sense of connection.


Consequences of Lack of Intimacy

  • Emotional Distance: When physical and emotional intimacy decline, partners may start to feel like roommates rather than a couple. This emotional distance can lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation within the marriage.


  • Increased Conflict: Lack of intimacy can lead to frustration and misunderstandings. Partners might become irritable and less patient with each other, resulting in more frequent arguments and conflicts.


  • Decreased Satisfaction: Intimacy is a key component of marital satisfaction. Without it, partners may feel unfulfilled and unhappy in the relationship. This dissatisfaction can lead to thoughts of separation or seeking intimacy outside the marriage.


  • Erosion of Trust: Intimacy builds trust by creating a safe space for both partners to express themselves. When intimacy fades, trust can erode, making it harder to communicate and resolve issues effectively.

Strategies for Maintaining Intimacy

  • Open Communication: Talk openly about your needs and desires when it comes to intimacy. Discuss what intimacy means to each of you and how you can meet each other’s needs. Regular, honest conversations about your feelings can help maintain a strong emotional connection.


  • Prioritize Quality Time: Spend quality time together without distractions. Engage in activities that you both enjoy and that allow you to connect on a deeper level. Whether it’s a date night, a weekend getaway, or simply cooking dinner together, prioritizing time for each other is crucial.


  • Show Physical Affection: Physical touch is a powerful way to express love and maintain connection. Simple gestures like holding hands, hugging, or cuddling can go a long way in keeping the physical bond strong.


  • Keep the Romance Alive: Make an effort to keep the romance alive in your marriage. Surprise your partner with thoughtful gestures, plan special dates, and express your love and appreciation regularly. Small acts of kindness and affection can reignite the spark.


  • Explore New Activities: Trying new activities together can bring excitement and novelty into your relationship. Whether it’s a new hobby, travel destination, or even new experiences in your intimate life, exploring together can strengthen your bond.


  • Seek Professional Help: If maintaining intimacy is a persistent challenge, consider seeking help from a therapist or counselor. A professional can provide tools and strategies to improve intimacy and address any underlying issues.


  • Be Attentive and Present: Pay attention to your partner’s needs and be present in the moment. Listen actively and respond with empathy and understanding. Being attentive shows that you value and care about your partner’s feelings.


  • Practice Vulnerability: Emotional intimacy requires vulnerability. Share your fears, dreams, and insecurities with your partner. This openness can foster a deeper emotional connection and build a foundation of trust and understanding.


Unresolved Conflicts

Every couple has disagreements, but how these conflicts are handled can make or break a marriage. Avoiding confrontation or failing to resolve issues can lead to resentment and bitterness. Understanding the importance of conflict resolution and how to address disagreements constructively is vital for maintaining a healthy and happy marriage.

Consequences of Unresolved Conflicts

  • Resentment and Bitterness: When conflicts are not resolved, negative feelings can build up over time. Partners may start to harbor resentment and bitterness, which can poison the relationship and create emotional distance.


  • Communication Breakdown: Unresolved conflicts often lead to poor communication. Partners might avoid discussing important issues for fear of triggering an argument, leading to a lack of openness and transparency in the relationship.


  • Emotional Withdrawal: To avoid conflict, partners might emotionally withdraw from each other. This can result in a loss of intimacy and connection, making it difficult to feel close and supported.


  • Recurring Arguments: Unresolved issues tend to resurface, leading to recurring arguments about the same topics. This cycle can create a stressful and hostile environment, making it hard to find peace and happiness in the marriage.


  • Erosion of Trust: Trust is built on the ability to resolve conflicts and move forward. When issues remain unresolved, trust can erode, making it harder to rely on each other and feel secure in the relationship.

Strategies for Resolving Conflicts

  • Open and Honest Communication: The first step in resolving conflicts is to communicate openly and honestly. Both partners should feel safe expressing their feelings and concerns without fear of judgment or retaliation.


  • Active Listening: Practice active listening by giving your partner your full attention, acknowledging their feelings, and reflecting on what they say. This helps ensure that both partners feel heard and understood.


  • Stay Calm and Respectful: During conflicts, it’s important to remain calm and respectful. Avoid yelling, name-calling, or bringing up past grievances. Focus on the issue at hand and approach the conversation with a willingness to find a resolution.


  • Identify the Root Cause: Often, conflicts are symptoms of deeper issues. Take the time to identify the root cause of the disagreement. Understanding the underlying problem can help you address it more effectively.


  • Compromise and Find Common Ground: Successful conflict resolution often involves compromise. Both partners should be willing to give and take, finding a solution that works for both. This might mean meeting halfway or agreeing to try different approaches.


  • Set Boundaries and Rules for Conflict: Establish boundaries and rules for handling conflicts. This could include agreeing not to interrupt each other, taking time-outs if emotions run high, and avoiding discussions when either partner is tired or stressed.


  • Seek Professional Help: If conflicts are persistent and difficult to resolve, consider seeking help from a therapist or counselor. A professional can provide tools and strategies for effective conflict resolution and help address any underlying issues.


  • Practice Forgiveness: Holding onto grudges can prevent conflicts from being fully resolved. Practice forgiveness by letting go of past hurts and focusing on moving forward. This doesn’t mean ignoring the issue, but rather addressing it and then allowing yourself to heal.


  • Focus on Solutions, Not Blame: During conflicts, focus on finding solutions rather than assigning blame. Approach the conversation with a problem-solving mindset, working together to find a resolution that benefits both partners.

Different Life Goals

Over time, couples may find that their life goals and aspirations diverge. Whether it’s career ambitions, desires for children, or lifestyle choices, differing goals can create a significant rift. Recognizing and addressing these differences is crucial for maintaining a harmonious and supportive marriage.

Types of Diverging Life Goals

  • Career Ambitions: One partner might have aspirations for a high-powered career that requires long hours, travel, or relocation, while the other prefers stability and a more family-oriented focus. These differing career paths can create tension regarding time, resources, and priorities.


  • Desires for Children: Decisions about having children can be a major source of conflict. One partner might want a large family, while the other is content with no children or fewer children. These fundamental differences can challenge the relationship if not addressed openly and early on.


  • Lifestyle Choices: Lifestyle preferences such as where to live (city vs. countryside), how to spend leisure time, or socializing habits can also differ significantly. One partner might dream of a minimalist lifestyle with travel, while the other prefers a settled life with home ownership and community ties.


  • Financial Goals: Discrepancies in financial aspirations, such as saving for retirement versus spending on experiences, can lead to disagreements. One partner might prioritize financial security and savings, while the other values living in the moment and spending more freely.


  • Personal Growth and Hobbies: Interests and personal growth pursuits can diverge over time. One partner might become deeply involved in a new hobby or passion that the other does not share, leading to a sense of growing apart.

Consequences of Diverging Life Goals

  • Emotional Distance: When partners have different life goals, they may start to drift apart emotionally. The lack of shared vision and direction can lead to feelings of isolation and disconnection.


  • Frequent Disagreements: Differing goals can result in frequent disagreements and conflicts. Partners may find themselves arguing about plans, priorities, and future decisions, leading to a strained relationship.


  • Resentment and Frustration: If one partner feels that their goals and dreams are consistently being compromised or ignored, it can lead to resentment and frustration. Over time, this can erode the positive feelings in the relationship.


  • Loss of Shared Vision: A shared vision for the future is a key component of a strong marriage. Without it, partners may struggle to work together and support each other’s aspirations, leading to a sense of being on different paths.

Strategies for Aligning Life Goals

  • Open and Honest Discussions: Regularly discuss your goals, dreams, and aspirations with your partner. Be honest about what you want and listen to your partner’s desires. These conversations should be ongoing as goals and circumstances evolve.


  • Find Common Ground: Identify areas where your goals overlap and build on those commonalities. Focus on shared values and create a vision for the future that incorporates both partners’ aspirations.


  • Compromise and Flexibility: Be willing to compromise and find solutions that work for both partners. This might involve adjusting timelines, blending goals, or taking turns prioritizing each other’s dreams.


  • Set Joint Goals: Establish joint goals that you can work towards together. This could include financial goals, travel plans, or lifestyle changes that incorporate elements of both partners’ desires.


  • Support Each Other’s Individual Goals: Encourage and support your partner’s individual goals, even if they differ from your own. Showing interest and providing support can strengthen your bond and demonstrate mutual respect.


  • Seek Professional Guidance: Consider seeking guidance from a couples counselor or life coach. A professional can help you navigate differences, improve communication, and find strategies for aligning your goals.


  • Reevaluate and Adjust: Life goals can change over time, so it’s important to regularly reevaluate and adjust your plans. Be open to renegotiating your goals as circumstances and priorities shift.


  • Create a Vision Board: Together, create a vision board that includes images and words representing both partners’ goals and dreams. This visual representation can serve as a reminder of your shared and individual aspirations, helping to keep you aligned.

Lack of Appreciation

Feeling unappreciated can lead to frustration and discontent in a marriage. When one or both partners feel their efforts and contributions are taken for granted, it can erode the emotional connection. Recognizing and expressing appreciation is crucial for maintaining a positive and supportive relationship.

Consequences of Lack of Appreciation

  • Emotional Disconnection: A lack of appreciation can create emotional distance between partners. When efforts go unrecognized, individuals may feel undervalued and disconnected, leading to a decline in intimacy and bonding.


  • Increased Resentment: Over time, feeling unappreciated can lead to resentment. One partner might feel they are always giving without receiving acknowledgment, which can build frustration and bitterness.


  • Decreased Motivation: When appreciation is lacking, partners may feel less motivated to contribute to the relationship. Whether it’s household chores, emotional support, or financial contributions, the drive to invest in the relationship diminishes.


  • Lower Self-Esteem: Constantly feeling unappreciated can affect a person’s self-esteem. They may start to doubt their worth and question their role in the relationship, leading to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt.


  • Increased Conflict: A lack of appreciation can lead to frequent arguments and conflicts. Partners might start to bicker over minor issues, with underlying feelings of being taken for granted fueling these disputes.

Strategies for Expressing Appreciation

  • Verbal Affirmations: Regularly express gratitude and appreciation through words. Simple statements like “Thank you for cooking dinner” or “I appreciate how hard you work” can make a significant impact. Verbal affirmations reinforce the value you see in your partner’s efforts.


  • Acts of Kindness: Show appreciation through small acts of kindness. This could be making your partner’s favorite meal, taking over a chore they dislike, or surprising them with a thoughtful gesture. Actions often speak louder than words and can demonstrate your appreciation effectively.


  • Quality Time: Spend quality time together to show you value your partner’s presence. Engaging in activities you both enjoy, having meaningful conversations, and being fully present can strengthen your bond and convey appreciation.


  • Listen and Respond: Show appreciation by actively listening to your partner and responding to their needs. Acknowledging their feelings, offering support, and being attentive to their concerns demonstrate that you value their contributions to the relationship.


  • Give Compliments: Regularly compliment your partner. Whether it’s about their appearance, a job well done, or a personal quality you admire, compliments can boost their self-esteem and reinforce your appreciation.


  • Celebrate Achievements: Celebrate your partner’s achievements, both big and small. Acknowledge their successes at work, personal milestones, or even daily accomplishments. Celebrating together fosters a sense of partnership and mutual respect.


  • Physical Affection: Physical touch is a powerful way to show appreciation. Hugs, kisses, and other forms of physical affection can communicate love and gratitude without words.


  • Leave Notes and Messages: Leave notes or send messages expressing your appreciation. A heartfelt note left in their lunch or a sweet text during the day can brighten their mood and remind them that their efforts are noticed.

Building a Culture of Appreciation

  • Regular Check-ins: Have regular check-ins to discuss what you appreciate about each other. This practice can help both partners feel valued and ensure that appreciation is an ongoing part of your relationship.


  • Practice Gratitude Together: Incorporate gratitude practices into your daily routine. This could be sharing something you’re grateful for each day or keeping a shared gratitude journal. Focusing on positive aspects of your relationship fosters a culture of appreciation.


  • Mindfulness and Presence: Be mindful and present in your interactions. Paying attention to your partner’s efforts and being present in the moment can help you recognize and appreciate their contributions more fully.


  • Encourage Open Communication: Encourage your partner to share when they feel unappreciated. Open communication about these feelings can help address any issues early and prevent resentment from building up.


  • Model Appreciation: Lead by example by consistently showing appreciation. Your actions can inspire your partner to reciprocate, creating a positive cycle of mutual respect and gratitude.

External Influences

Family, friends, and even societal expectations can put pressure on a marriage. Negative influences or meddling from external sources can create conflict and stress. Understanding how to manage these external influences is crucial for maintaining a strong and healthy relationship.

Types of External Influences

  • Family Dynamics: In-laws and extended family members can sometimes interfere in a marriage, intentionally or unintentionally. Conflicting loyalties, differing expectations, and boundary issues with family members can create tension between partners.


  • Friendships: Friends can have a significant impact on a marriage, for better or worse. Negative influences can arise from friends who do not support the relationship, who create jealousy, or who have different lifestyles and values.


  • Societal Expectations: Societal norms and cultural expectations can place pressure on couples to conform to certain roles, timelines, or behaviors. This pressure can lead to stress and conflict if partners feel they are not living up to these expectations.


  • Work and Social Life: Work demands and social commitments can also impact a marriage. Balancing professional responsibilities, social obligations, and personal time can be challenging, leading to neglect and frustration.


  • Social Media: Social media can introduce external influences into a marriage, such as unrealistic portrayals of relationships, excessive time spent online, or inappropriate interactions with others. These influences can lead to comparison, jealousy, and conflict.

Consequences of External Influences

  • Increased Conflict: External influences can lead to frequent disagreements and conflicts. Partners might argue about family involvement, friendships, or societal expectations, creating a stressful and hostile environment.


  • Emotional Stress: The pressure from external sources can cause emotional stress and strain on the relationship. Partners may feel overwhelmed, unsupported, or misunderstood, leading to feelings of isolation and anxiety.


  • Erosion of Trust: Negative external influences can erode trust between partners. For example, if one partner frequently prioritizes friends or family over the relationship, the other partner may feel neglected and undervalued.


  • Reduced Intimacy: The stress and conflict caused by external influences can reduce intimacy and emotional connection. Partners may become distant, less affectionate, and less inclined to invest in the relationship.

Strategies for Managing External Influences

  • Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries with family, friends, and other external sources. Communicate openly about what is acceptable and what is not. Boundaries help protect the relationship from undue interference and maintain respect.


  • Prioritize Your Relationship: Make your marriage a priority. Dedicate time and energy to nurture your relationship, ensuring that it remains strong and resilient against external pressures.


  • Communicate Openly: Discuss external influences with your partner. Share your feelings and concerns, and listen to your partner’s perspective. Open communication can help you address issues together and find mutually agreeable solutions.


  • Unite as a Team: Present a united front when dealing with external influences. Support each other’s decisions and stand together in the face of outside pressures. This solidarity can strengthen your bond and reduce the impact of negative influences.


  • Limit Negative Interactions: Reduce or eliminate interactions with individuals who negatively impact your relationship. Surround yourselves with supportive friends and family who respect your boundaries and encourage your relationship.


  • Seek Professional Help: If external influences are causing significant stress and conflict, consider seeking help from a therapist or counselor. A professional can provide guidance and strategies for managing external pressures effectively.


  • Focus on Shared Values: Reinforce the values and goals that you share as a couple. By focusing on what unites you, you can create a strong foundation that is less susceptible to external influences.


  • Practice Self-Care: Take care of your emotional and physical well-being. Managing stress through self-care practices such as exercise, hobbies, and relaxation techniques can help you cope better with external pressures.



Neglect in a marriage can take many forms, such as emotional neglect, lack of time together, or failure to prioritize the relationship. Over time, this neglect can lead to feelings of isolation and detachment. Recognizing and addressing neglect is essential for maintaining a strong and healthy marriage.

Types of Neglect

  • Emotional Neglect: Emotional neglect occurs when one partner fails to provide the emotional support and understanding that the other needs. This can involve ignoring a partner’s feelings, failing to offer comfort during difficult times, or not showing empathy and concern.


  • Lack of Quality Time: Spending quality time together is crucial for maintaining a connection. When partners do not make time for each other, whether due to busy schedules, distractions, or complacency, it can lead to a weakening of the bond between them.


  • Failure to Prioritize the Relationship: When other aspects of life—such as work, hobbies, or friendships—consistently take precedence over the relationship, it can leave a partner feeling unimportant and neglected.


  • Physical Neglect: Physical neglect includes not engaging in physical intimacy or showing physical affection. A lack of touch, sexual intimacy, and physical closeness can create a significant emotional gap between partners.


  • Neglecting Shared Responsibilities: When one partner fails to contribute to shared responsibilities, such as household chores, parenting, or financial management, it can lead to feelings of being overwhelmed and unsupported by the other partner.

Consequences of Neglect

  • Feelings of Isolation: Neglect can cause partners to feel isolated and alone within the relationship. This sense of isolation can lead to loneliness and a feeling of being emotionally disconnected from the partner.


  • Emotional Detachment: Over time, neglect can lead to emotional detachment. Partners may start to shut down emotionally, leading to a lack of intimacy and a growing emotional distance.


  • Resentment and Bitterness: Feeling neglected can foster resentment and bitterness. One partner might feel they are putting more effort into the relationship than the other, leading to a buildup of negative emotions.


  • Decreased Satisfaction: Neglect often results in decreased relationship satisfaction. Partners may become unhappy and dissatisfied, questioning the value and future of the relationship.


  • Potential for Infidelity: In some cases, neglect can lead to infidelity. When emotional or physical needs are not met within the marriage, individuals might seek fulfillment outside the relationship.

Strategies for Addressing Neglect

  • Open Communication: Addressing neglect begins with open and honest communication. Partners should express their feelings and concerns without fear of judgment. Discussing issues openly can help both partners understand each other’s needs and work towards fulfilling them.


  • Prioritize the Relationship: Make the relationship a priority by dedicating time and effort to nurture it. Schedule regular date nights, engage in activities you both enjoy and make time for meaningful conversations.


  • Show Appreciation and Affection: Regularly express appreciation and show affection to your partner. Small gestures of love, such as compliments, hugs, and kisses, can reinforce your emotional connection.


  • Engage in Shared Activities: Participate in activities that you both enjoy. Whether it’s cooking together, going for walks, or taking up a new hobby, shared activities can strengthen your bond and create positive experiences together.


  • Seek Professional Help: If neglect has deeply affected the relationship, consider seeking help from a therapist or counselor. A professional can provide guidance and strategies for addressing issues and improving the relationship.


  • Balance Responsibilities: Ensure that both partners are contributing to shared responsibilities. Discuss and divide tasks fairly, and support each other in managing household chores, parenting, and other joint responsibilities.


  • Practice Active Listening: Make an effort to listen actively to your partner. Show empathy and understanding, and respond to their needs and concerns. Active listening fosters emotional intimacy and shows that you value their feelings.


  • Create Rituals and Traditions: Establish rituals and traditions that you both look forward to, such as a weekly date night or an annual trip. These rituals create a sense of continuity and shared experiences that strengthen the relationship.

Sums Up

A strong and lasting marriage requires continuous effort, commitment, and mutual understanding. While the challenges listed above can threaten the stability and happiness of a marital relationship, recognizing and addressing these issues proactively can help prevent them from causing irreparable harm. 

By maintaining open communication, nurturing intimacy, handling conflicts constructively, and showing appreciation, couples can build a resilient foundation that withstands the test of time. 

Additionally, aligning life goals, managing financial stresses, and setting boundaries with external influences are crucial steps in preserving the harmony and strength of a marriage. 

Remember, a successful marriage isn’t about avoiding problems altogether, but about facing them together with love, respect, and a willingness to grow both as individuals and as a couple.

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do.